When the coronavirus pandemic led to the cancellation of this event at the Mohonk Mountain House in the spring of 2020, we shifted to planning this forum as a webinar. The event, held online on February 11, 2021, was viewed by about 170 people, primarily in the US. (Please visit our program page for biographies of our speakers.)
hosted by Brad Berg of Mohonk Consultations.
This program continued the living tradition of conferencing on peacebuilding at Mohonk Mountain House, now carried forward by the work of Mohonk Consultations.
Former Congressman and US Presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich spoke warmly and earnestly on “Stepping Out of Polarization,” saying that we can all bridge the gaps between us by wishing each other the best, remembering our common humanity. He expressed concern that the world is filled with dichotomous thinking and polarization and these can be the precursors to war.
Dennis encouraged us to enhance communication by opening up to differences of opinion, and to build bridges through heart-to-heart discussions and personal connectedness. It is easier for this to happen when we dispel our old notions about how the world must be. We don’t need to carry around emotional and spiritual freight, with thoughts such as “I’ve been done wrong,” and we can let go of negativity and conflicts by replacing them with positive thoughts.
Dennis said that people of goodwill can make a contribution, and this starts with examining our own polarized thinking, words and deeds, as we then “create the space to negotiate the ins and outs of daily living.”
Dennis is very optimistic that the world can be a better place, but it’s up to all of us. “The negative energies of polarization have to play themselves out—then we can regenerate our human connection.” There is an underlying unity that has to be evoked, he explained, and we can “build on it and set it back in motion.” Again, it starts with our own thinking, words and deeds.
Lester Young then addressed the “Four Gateways of Speech,” which starts with setting an intention for how we want to live our life. He encouraged us not to try to change the world into we want the world to be, but rather to live how we want to be in the world.
Even though conflict is very much in the nature of humanity, Lester explained, we can build a bridge between people who disagree. He asked, how do we move from conflict to connection?
Guiding much of Lester’s address was the principle of Ubuntu, popularized by Bishop Desmond Tutu: “My humanity is bound up with yours, as we can only be human together.” To fully realize our potential, we have to be compassionate and generous with others. The force of compassion then becomes real in our lives.
Lester then presented the Four Gateways of speech, saying that even people who disagree can work with these four principles and we can still have respect and compassion for each other. He has successfully used this in his work with law enforcement and youth.
FOUR GATEWAYS OF SPEECH
- Is It True…Is it a Fact or an Opinion?
- Is It Kind…Focus on the situation and not on people?
- Is It Timely & Clear…Can people properly digest what’s said?
- Is It Beneficial…How do these words improve the situation?
UBUNTU: My humanity is bound up with yours, for we can only be human together.
He encouraged us to review the four principles in the form of questions to ask ourselves before we speak; if our thoughts run counter to these principles, we should either modify our thoughts or be silent.
Lester reminded us about the difference between opinion and fact and that we should be prepared to support a fact with evidence. He explained that we should speak to others in a way that they can accurately hear what we are saying and so that our words can improve a situation. Otherwise, it is best to not speak.
Lester shared the perspective that our norms are now being destroyed and that conflict and polarization will continue until we engage in civil and compassionate ways.
Dior Williams, a local high school student, presented on “The Importance of Humility.” It is especially necessary to teach virtues to the younger generation, including the values of truth, intention and humility.
A key point here is understanding that intellectual humility refers to realizing that what you believe might in fact not be true. Dior said that the lack of humility is a leading cause of polarization in the world. We are taught that being right is essential and that being wrong is bad. However, being wrong is not bad.
Dior then gave us some tips on how to have humility and navigate conflict.
- Know what you don’t know—we all have gaps in our knowledge.
- Ask with the intention to understand, including the use of open-ended questions.
- Never assume that you are so right that you will win an argument—others may feel the same and then no one wins.
- Listen with curiosity and without sculpting your response.
- Review your actions.
Dior ended by saying that if we teach the value of humility to youth, then maybe one day this country won’t have such polarization.